Clari-tea

I left the woods for as good a reason as I went there. Perhaps it seemed to me that I had several more lives to live, and could not spare any more time for that one. It is remarkable how easily and insensibly we fall into a particular route, and make a beaten track for ourselves. I had not lived there a week before my feet wore a path from my door to the pond-side; and though it is five or six years since I trod it, it is still quite distinct. It is true, I fear, that others may have fallen into it, and so helped to keep it open. The surface of the earth is soft and impressible by the feet of men; and so with the paths which the mind travels. How worn and dusty, then, must be the highways of the world, how deep the ruts of tradition and conformity! I did not wish to take a cabin passage, but rather to go before the mast and on the deck of the world, for there I could best see the moonlight amid the mountains. I do not wish to go below now.
-Henry David Thoreau (Walden)

Things seemed to be out of control as I feared failure; a repeated failure like that which I fell under the last spring semester. My current schedule had gotten me stressed as I felt myself to be unprepared for the classes I'm preparing to undertake : African History and Psychology. My original plan was to take statistics, but I found out that such a class is not required to receive a BFA from NYU, so I decided not to take the class til spring, that is, if I do not get into NYU. On top of that, I did not necesarrily find the timing of my schedule to be the most favorable, nor did I find my peers and teachers to be all the most favorable--but I decided that I can't always cheat the system to work in my favor, and that sometime I have to buckle down and do what I have to do.

And walking back to my car from the beach, after thinking about myself and stepping back to take a look at, and developing a clearer understanding of, my current circumstances, I felt empowered. And in my self-empowerment I remember Thoreau's quote about the worn paths of the mind, and how when we commit to something and persevere, we begin to make a more accessible path as we begin to wear it down and remove the obstacles. The same can also be said for those paths which take us to some undesireable, animalistic places; contrary to the places of the minds beyond our animalistic traits which follow dreams, visions, logic, realization, revelation, understanding, and what ever other transcendental forms of thought that are inherit in us.

I know it'll all work out. I just have to apply myself, develop proper habits, and focus. If i persist in study psychology and history, and keep at it, the mind will begin to wear down a path and thus make such fields of though more accesible.

So like Bob Marley said "Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief, and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your dreams to reality." "Remeber your dreams, remember your dreams", word's I'll never forget, so never put them off, because we all know what happens to a dream deffered.

I'm getting back on my groove. Enrolled in dance classes: Modern, Ballet, Choreography, and rehearsing my own choreography for Synapse. Also taking House and Breaking classes afterschool. Things are starting to pick up elsewhere as well... but i'll write about such things later.