Can't Wake Up

Laziness is a temptation I've fallen prone to recently, and moreon, sleep. I can't, and don't want to, get out of the bed in the morning. I don't know why. I don't look forward to the day as much as I used to. There's no purpose or passion anywhere in my day. It's just get up, work, school, dance, hang with people, go to sleep, repeat. It's like in my sleep is when I wake up, and the day I experience when I go out is like a dream, like I'm asleep.

I want to make more dreams come true but it's like I'm too lazy to and don't feel like it. My life is boring me.

I bet life is also find me quite boring.

Everything seems pretty balanced out except for 1 or two things. That one thing : getting up early in the morning and going to class. One of my life's biggest obstacles are finally catching up to me when it really counts, but I can see my overcoming this obstacle. I know it wont be easy, and I know it might not go away quickly without pain and struggle, but I know it can be done.

As a result, I keep having theses dreams of New York and dance in New York. In my dreams I'm always late for something, or I missed a class or audition, or I missed a show, or I'm behind in picking up some choreography, or I'm late for a train or bus.

See I kinda hope that being in New York will give me a new start at things, but I'm also really afraid that my old habits will catch up with me there.

But you know what, maybe it's me I gotta work on, regardless if it happens before or after I get to NYC. Wherever I go, I am still there, I havent gone anywhere, for I am always with myself.

I'm just really sad about that these days and, you know, not following up on the other projects I wanted to start, and not doing yoga, and not practicing enough, and not doing my physical therapy, and not stretching. It's alot of work, and maybe Itll come together.

At least I got a job now though, and I work really hard there, and I'm not under a bad eye, so thats one less thing to worry about.

I don't really know the solution, all I want right now is to be able to get out of my lazy habits and do the work I need to do. And to cope with the past.