On My Way

Man it sucks getting injured.

Back in August I was on a studi frenzy and was hitting up Debbie Reynolds Dance Studio every single day for 2 weeks. I got noticably better and started making friends. One day I hit up a practice session. I was tired, and in my disorientation and uncontrolled movements, I landed sideways on my ankle and sprained it. It hurt, and it sucked.
I couldnt walk on it for a week. For the first few days I had to use crutches. It wasn't fun. I couldn't do a fucking thing--I needed that ankle and I didnt have it.

But I survived. I put on a lot of extra pounds, but I did what little I could do. Now I'm a few weeks deep in the new semester and I'm not doing any performances nor am I choreographing, just training and doing academics--technique, technique, technique, flexibility and strength. It's not fun and games anymore, it's time to transfer and be on the same grounds as the real dancers who've been doing it since they were kids.

Though my love for House, HipHop, and Breaking is still here, I've finally made a decisions to push toward the fine art of Ballet, Modern, and overall contemporary and traditional technique-based dance forms. The reason is, I want to get a college degree, and I can't get a degree in House Dancing. If I wanted to, I could easily jump straight into the commercial dance industry, but that's not my goal. My mom wants me to be in school, and I think it's important for me to get in school right now, so thats what I'm going to do. I have to keep my sights straight and my aim the same, regardless of what stages of life I go through, and what the weather is outside.

It's a bit lonely for me this semester. Margo is gone. My other friends have transferred or moved, and the others have conflicting schedules. It's been hard to meet new people due to my demanding schedule, I dont have time to hang around at school. It's all go go go.

I work with the elementary kids now. I don't have much experience with such young works of art, but I'm stuck with no other choice, i have to adapt--put up or shut up... hey...It's alot better than "Hi, how can I help you?" jobs. It's hard for me to teach them yoga, their attention spans shorten as much as a skeptic's breath in a nervous situation.

I stirke their attention to shed light in the disambuity of their youth. I try to be proof of something else. Elsewhere from the hood cause I understood how it is to be a ghetto ass kidd. Provide a vent for their igonrace. A place to exhale and dispel the toxin of their thought, of our thought, of my thoughts. What is happening in their head? Exhale. Release the muscle on your face and forehead.

I revisit the boy I was and all I want is love and a hug. Tell me how to breathe, but mask it in something like concrete and trees, like earthtones that set me at ease. These kids don't feel the touch of the breeze, but the beats of street and cement under their feet. And I pass out crackers at snacktime that contracdict how I teach them to eat. One for each. Sit down. I'm like them, I was also once a clown. Standing under. I'm above understanding. Two and a half hours on my feet. Nothing ever seems to repeat.

Everyday day I come home, fucking beat. Fuck the laundry and the dishes. I gotta study and get something to eat.

But damn, I really want to dance. I did it last night, but was still far from a trance. People think im a cocky motherfucker, but they've yet to compare me to the others. I just like to dance and have fun. I could be doing worse things, so cheer me on. I'm old enough to buy a gun.

But I had to go under--I learned this summer. Away from the world. In my own place. In silence; fuck the bullshit, slowin my role, a change of pace. Let my thoughts be thoughts, but let me be me. Like that bald motherfucker, "I just want to Be."

Gravitate towards truth. If your money's tight, don't get loose. Keep your head on your shoulders. Don't go too fast. Gain control or else you'll crash
and burn on the way down.

Hello? I once said, cause I was answering the call.

I'm on my way. Calmed down. Grown up.

Where I'm going, I'll get there. Close my eyes and dream it up.

The clock strikes slow. But it's alright. Sun on my face. It'll happen when the time is right.